So I Defended My PhD. Now What?

For years, my brain has had one, single, monolithic task looming over it: Finish the PhD. Last week, I did. And my brain, in its infinite wisdom, has responded with... a deafening silence. It’s like a factory that’s been running 24/7 for five years, and somebody just pulled the main breaker. The quiet is both glorious and deeply weird.

A split image showing an academic gown and books on one side, and a beach chair with a view of the ocean on the other. The style is a clean, modern illustration suitable for a blog. The left side has a dark, studious feel with a diploma, while the right side is bright and airy, showing a peaceful beach in the south of France. — From PhD to Beach

The Pre-Defense Brain Carnival

The days leading up to the defense were, to put it mildly, a mental circus. My brain, a master of creative anxiety, decided to host a film festival of my failures. The main feature was a harrowing tale titled: "They're About to Realize You Know Nothing."

The plot was simple: I'd start my presentation, and within minutes, one of the four professors would hold up a hand and say, "Hold on. We've just realized you're a complete fraud who doesn't understand the basics of AI. Please return your university library card and exit through the back."

My coping mechanism? Meditation. My success rate? About 50/50. Some evenings, I found a sliver of calm. Other evenings, it was just me, sitting and fidgeting, meticulously cataloging every possible way I could fail, but with my eyes closed. Progress, I guess?

My brain's favorite pre-defense game was 'What if the first question is "What is AI?" and I just... forget?'

The Main Event: 90 Minutes of Truth

The defense itself was a 90-minute gauntlet: 30 minutes of me presenting my life's work, followed by 60 minutes of questions from a panel of people who are professionally smart. It was exhausting, intense, and surprisingly... not as terrifying as my brain-cinema had led me to believe. It felt less like an interrogation and more like the most intellectually demanding conversation I've ever had.

A clean, modern illustration showing a man in his mid-30s presenting in front of a panel of four university professors. The man looks focused but calm. The professors are listening intently in a modern lecture room. The style is consistent with the blog's aesthetic. — The PhD Defense

And the result? I passed. With a 1.0, no less. My inner imposter is still demanding a recount, but the paperwork says it's true.

The Post-Defense Whiplash

I wish I could say I spent the next day basking in a zen-like state of accomplishment. Instead, I woke up, and drove directly to a customer meeting to work as an AI consultant. The weekend that followed was a blur of packing for a much-needed holiday, celebrating my amazing wifes birthday, and trying to process the fact that this monumental chapter of my life was... over.

A montage-style illustration showing a man in a whirlwind of activity. One part of the image shows him at a desk with a laptop displaying code, another part shows him packing a suitcase, and a third part shows a birthday cake and decorations. The overall feeling is busy but positive. — Post-Defense Whirlwind

Well, almost over. There's always a catch, isn't there? I can't officially call myself "Dr.-Ing." until the dissertation is published. It feels like running a marathon, crossing the finish line, and then being told you can't have the medal until you've filled out three pages of administrative forms in triplicate.

Decompression Mode: Activated

Which brings me to now. I'm writing this from a beach in the south of France. For the first time in years, I'm reading books that have nothing to do with AI or software testing. One is about meditation, the other about surfing. The crushing stress is gone, and in its place is... space.

A serene illustration of a man sitting peacefully on a beach chair in the south of France, reading a book. The ocean is calm in the background, and the sun is setting, creating a warm, peaceful atmosphere. The style is clean and modern. — Peace on the Beach

And with that space, a realization. My meditation practice is changing. Without a dissertation breathing down my neck, I can actually go deeper. I've discovered the profound power of silent meditation. The kind where there’s no guide, just you and the sound of the waves (or, you know, the sound of your own tinnitus). It’s something I’ve realized is incredibly important, and it’s a feature I’m definitely going to be adding to MeditAItion soon.

The Great Unknown

So, what’s next? That’s the million-dollar question. When a single goal defines your life for so long, its absence leaves a void. It's a bit scary, but it's also incredibly freeing. What do I do with all this newfound brainpower that isn't dedicated to citation formats and experimental results?

I don't have the answer yet. But I'm excited to figure it out. I'm happy to see what life brings, to keep exploring my own mind through meditation, and to keep channeling what I learn back into MeditAItion for all of you.

The PhD journey is over, but the real adventure is just beginning. And I have a feeling it's going to be a good one.